Basically BFFs
by CIF-lover
Summary: Lars is not exactly the role model friend the Crystal Gems would choose for Steven. How exactly does he feel about their relationship? Lars sees things Steven is not old enough to understand yet and his insight shows a different side of beach city. What could have happened in the show. Eventual Ladie possible.


When they met, he was just another of Beach City's kooky legends. Everybody knew about him. He was like some big celebrity. The kid who killed one of the Crystal Gems. At first, there had been outrage. The father of the boy had even been driven out of the city by concerned citizens. But that was all just some story, right?

It started easy enough. One day Lars had been elected to go down to the corner supermarket to pick up some munchies. It was all so long ago now that he could not remember just why it took him so long to decide on what kind of donuts to get. All he knew was that as fate had it, he took a little too much time.

"S'cuse me sir?" Lars glared down at the elementary school kid that had dared to interrupt the awesomely important things going down in his mind, mainly donuts. "Can you get the red ones for me?" The junior high student rolled his deep foggy green eyes back to the goods and spotted the package the boy had indicated. It was red with yellow starbursts and the chocolate coated donuts it contained just so happened to be Lars' favorite to buy from grocery stores.

Lars sneered at the box because it was technically the reason this apparently blind or stupid kid was talking to him. "I can." He answered with a facetious lilt to his voice.

There was a moment of silence where Lars stared down the box in question obstinately while the curly haired youth waited expectantly with excited brown eyes glued on the trouble preteen. "Um, the donuts?" The kid left the question hanging in the air when Lars did not make a move for the box.

"Steven." The deep bass of a man's voice rang over the aisles but the older boy still did not budge.

Steven let out an anxious whine and muttered, "I'll get it myself." The kid climbed up the shelves bravely and snatched the box before dropping back down to floor. "I'm coming!" He called out loudly enough for the man to hear but it did not matter anyway because the fat friendly faced man was already pushing a cart towards them down the snack aisle.

"There you are Steven," The man announced as if that was not obvious but all Lars could do was gawk at the sight. That man. The young man had only seen him pointed out at a distance before. Lars could remember watching him tote around a toddler with the Crystal Gems as far back as his memory went. These two were the ones responsible for the death of one of the city's great guardians and Lars had refused to get them donuts.

The boy absent mindedly turned back to Lars with a bright smile that did not quite fit with all of the dark tales told about him behind closed doors. "Thanks dude!" Steven playfully threw back to Lars as he and his dad made their way to the checkout. The kid looked normal, prancing around as children do even if his dad looked scruffy in ratty old clothes. It was odd considering that those were the people everyone in Beach City whispered about. The quiet reprimand Steven received from his dad about talking to strangers seemed so normal.

-Stars-

The day he met her was life changing but in a different way. Lars was not exactly one to go to the beach regularly. Even living in a beach city, it just was not his thing. But one morning, the day was just too perfect to spend finding out if sitting on a couch all day could result in human/couch fusion. He could remember the pivotal time clearly. The whole day would probably stay with him forever because it was simply that monumental to him.

The morning was like many others on a weekend of his freshman year of highschool. He woke up in a weird smelling house lumped together with a few other bodies of b.o. That weekend, Ashton had hosted the party and as the only freshman chilling with them, Lars was excitable. By that time in their lives, his compatriots already had a certain immunity to hangovers so they were content to just laze the morning away making sure not even the butts of their blunts went to waste.

Lars on the other hand had to get out and he eventually convinced the crew to join him for a day at the beach with the promise of food. The red headed teenager had long since learned that the most effective way to get his friends to do anything was to bribe them with edibles. So that was how the young man found himself on the windy beach with his curly hair flapping every which way.

Jimmy, the junior that had taken Lars under his wing at school nudged the lanky kid and pointed at a mass of sheets being wrestled with in the breeze, chuckling. "So worth it. Check out this sap." The wind died down for a moment and this short chubby lady with an afro of blonde hair blown every which way was left exposed while she quickly and clumsily regained control of her canopy and tablecloth situated right off of the boardwalk.

Ordinarily, the group would have just moved on since the show was officially over but Lars was locked in place, transfixed by the sight before him. Mostly, just the sign on the flustered woman's table. "Free Donuts". How was he to refuse such a generous offer.

Ashton was not as interested in the fried treat and shoved the younger boy to get him moving again but all Lars could come up with to say was, "Dude, free donuts."

Ashton growled adjusting his shades against the bright afternoon morning sun. "Who cares? You said pancakes freshie. Don't try to weasel out of it now." The group trudged on, making their way to the café restaurant they probably intended to get their fix from.

The wind kicked up again and the petite stocky form tumbled over as the light material attempted another escape. This time Lars quickly rushed over to help stabilize the tent's supports and he grabbed a corner of the tablecloth, holding the position until the gust died down again. The woman let out a surprisingly youthful whine and pounded her hands against the sand in frustration. "Urgh! Why did I take this stupid job anyway? It's not like anyone has really even noticed me."

Lars bent over and tapped on the crown of the fluff he assumed had a head within it. "Well they might if you stop playing in the sand long enough to give them some free donuts. Or are you too busy playing with your kites?" The teenager quipped as he hoisted the portly woman to her feet.

The blonde let out another frustrated groan and swept the mass of tangled hair from her chubby face looking distraught. "Of course sir. Right away. I'm so sorry. So sorry." She waddled in the sand slightly as she bustled back to the table and snatched a brown paper bag from the table with a booklet, handing him both. She squinted at Lars for a moment before carefully observing, "Hey, you're just a kid!"

Lars shrugged and glanced around noting that his friends had already ambled away without him. "So?" Now that he got a good look at the girl he figured she could probably still be in highschool too though she was definitely his senior. "You're not much older." He pointed out, popping open the bag and taking a bite of the donut she gave him. "Oh my Gawd! Where did you get these?" He asked in ecstacy as his life mission of finding the perfect donut was finally realized.

The girl continued trying to smooth out her hair to no avail and grabbed ahold of one of the aluminum supports by wrapping both arms childishly around it. "Just- can I get that pamphlet back?" She requested with her round face scrunched up in disappointment. Lars frowned and looked at the cover of the booklet advertising some new car. "It's just some car company stuff. They hired me to attract customers from the beach with my donuts." She explained still struggling with the canopy.

Lars grabbed another leg of the support again as the wind picked up and tossed the pamphlet onto the table. "Yeah, those are good. So where'd you get 'em?"

The round woman did not answer right away, having issues with her unruly hair invading facial territories. When the gust ended she ran her fingers through the mess again, not accomplishing anything Lars could see. "I made them-" Marry me?- or at least become my personal chef. "Thanks for your help um-?"

"Lars," He filled in helpfully making the girl smile warmly.

"Lars," She repeated, committing the name to memory despite the fact they may never run into each other again. "I'm Sadie. Here, take some more. This was a bust anyway." She pushed a couple more bags his way which he did not fight off in the least.

"So where can I get these when you aren't flying kites?" He inquired making her shake her head with a giggle.

"Nowhere. I got this job on a fluke. My baking professor suggested the car people hire me for their new promotion and they sent me out here. I'm starting to think it was a mistake."

Lars gawked at the girl who at only a few years older than him had created the most spectacular thing in the world, as far as he was concerned. "I don't know how much sand you got in your head Sadie but there is no way these donuts will ever be a mistake." He stated seriously.

"Thanks Lars," She huffed half heartedly. "Go- catch up to your friends. I think they went to the café." She pointed before getting nervous and throwing her arms around the support again with a lurch.

Lars shook one of the bags at her as he made his way to the restaurant. "Seriously, these need to be a thing. You should really start selling them out here or something." Lars turned away to jog to catch up to the others and faintly heard the girl muttering on the wind. Something about never doing this again he was sure.

-Ladie-

It was not like Lars spent everyday thinking about his chance encounter with the donut goddess. In fact, the opposite was more accurate than anything else. By the beginning of sophomore year, Lars could not remember the girl's name or much more about her than her crazy hair. And worst of all, he could not say if her donuts were really better than any others. Weed changes things. He may have just had a serious case of the munchies that day.

It was not until a warm September day that Lars ever thought about that day again. This time, he was alone. He decided he should take his chance to scope out the bikini babes one last time before the weather drove them away for winter. It was slim pickins now that school had started and the temperature was dropping. None of the girls were doing it for him today. A couple of chicks were lolling about but they didn't have an ounce of fat on their bodies to make boobs with. Then there were a few more that varied from being too bony and looking like someone had wrapped dough with twine and left it there. Nothing good.

He snatched up a branch and swept it behind him to make lines in the sand in boredom. There was no way he was gonna go home to listen to his parents fight. He had been target number one before he even got his ears pierced, he could not imagine the blahs they would throw at him now.

A loud crash broke Lars out of his thoughts and his gaze jumped up to see that what looked like a giant donut just fell off of the old beach shack. The red-head approached warily and nudged the thing with his shoe knowing all too well that he was dangerously close to the Crystal Gem's territory. Lars kicked the thing cleverly deducing that it was made of wood.

"Hey! Stop that!" A bossy voice rang down from the heavens. Or wait, no. It was just some little girl on the roof yelling at him.

Lars squinted up at the curly blonde youth and reprimanded her though it was really none of his business. "You shouldn't play up there you know? You could get hurt. Where're your parent's anyway?"

"Lars?" The girl hazarded leaning over the edge of the roof so he could see her better. It was the donut lady, not some kid. She was already bundled up in a jacket even though it was not exactly cold out yet so she really did look like a kid.

"Hey, you shouldn't be up there. You could get in a lot of trouble for bombing pedestrians with fake donuts." He informed helpfully.

"Oh be quiet," She barked back. "Wait! Wait right there. Don't move." The round woman disappeared from the ledge and Lars shifted his position looking for her. "Lars?" She asked quietly from the entrance to the beach shack making the hazy teenager jump. "I thought that was you." She gushed excitedly grabbing him by an arm and dragging him into the old building. "There's something you need to see!"

"Wha-" Was all he got out as he was forcibly pulled inside by the small baker. Once through the door, the woman released him and he pulled up short seeing how different the inside of the shack was than what he remembered. "What happened here? You know we shouldn't be here." He pointed out. He was not much into rules but the tiny woman did not look too daring so he thought he should point out the illegality of the situation.

The lady's blond curls bounced as she danced around the place excitedly and badly he might add. He did not see the big deal. It was just some old shack that looked pretty well gutted to the boy. The floors were clean swept and there was painters tape on the walls barely hidden by partially assembled racks that littered the floor in no particular order, not looking like they were correctly put together at all.

The girl beamed up at him making Lars feel awkward. "Calm down babycakes. You know the owner." She said cryptically.

"I do?" Was his dumb response.

Her greenish blue eyes shined with glee as she laughed and spun around again for good measure, completing the illusion of being a kindergartener. "It's me! I took your advice and started looking into starting my own business. Turns out that my uncle who knows the owner of the property convinced them to let me use it since it was just sitting around anyway. He owns his own business too and he's been helping me set up. All I have to do is pay the bills now and later when it takes off he says he might be able to convince the owner to sell permanently. You are standing in the newest greatest donut shop 'The Big Donut'!" The last bit came out as a gleeful shout.

Lars spared another look around the shack and tried to picture whatever it was that the lady saw in the place. It was not particularly big. It was on the outskirts of town, not far from the Crystal Gem's lair. In fact, Lars bet he could see the legendary chicks from here. "It's great." He lied. The place would probably fall apart in more places than just the sign outside. It was ancient.

Her eyes got misty as she looked to something the teenager could not see. "I know it doesn't look like much but a little paint and fill this place with the smell of fresh baked donuts and it'll be incredible."

Lars looked around and tried to imagine it but all he could see was the tarps all over the floor and rickety looking shelves. He clung to the one thing he knew. "Well if you sell those donuts here, I don't see how it could go wrong." Unless the crystal chicks decided they wanted the place for themselves.

"Hey Lars?" She started in the telltale voice of someone breeching possibly touchy territory. "How old are you?"

The teenager winced, realizing that the woman had probably realized he was skipping school right now. "Fifteen. You?" He locked eyes with her. What could a munchkin possibly do to him?

She frowned. "I'm twenty. Why aren't you in school?"

Lars kept her gaze. "I didn't feel like it." He stated cockily.

Her bluish eyes were trained on his face, weighing him, calculating. "So what exactly are you doing that is so important you needed to skip class?" She asked levelly. It was not exactly cutting. He would not even describe her tone as judgmental. It kind of felt just like any other question might.

Lars crossed his arms defensively regardless. "Talkin' to you, I guess."He replied snarkily.

Her lips pulled into a tight line as she looked him and down appraisingly. "Since you aren't doing anything, how about you help me around here. I can't pay you much but I have twenty bucks. It's yours if you help me move a few boxes and get the sign up." The lady offered.

Lars was skeptical about the situation. He never heard of people paying teenagers skipping school for labor. He shrugged. What did he have to lose? He was not planning on doing anything else and twenty dollars was better than nothing. "Sure, why not? So I call you boss or something?"

"Of course not, you can call me Sadie."

It started slowly, awkwardly. He did some labor for her, helped her set up shop for a couple of days instead of going to school and she paid him what she could at the time. By the third day when the paint outside and inside of 'The Big Donut' was drying and Sadie was all moved into her new business, she drew the line. She put an end to the child labor and advised Lars to go back to school. He ended up going back to school with sixty-eight extra dollars in his pocket and an odd sense of satisfaction. He did not feel ashamed that he spent nearly every bit of the money buying donuts from his new favorite bakery. A month after 'The Big Donut' debuted Lars started feeling the pressure at home.

His parents knew school was hit and miss for him. They knew he drank and smoked and just partied, enjoying life like they never did. They never stopped ragging on his style. They hated the way he wanted to look. They did not like his earrings or black jeans and they really did not like the day he dyed his hair black. His mom forced him to go and get the change reversed. They had basically given up on him. They would say things like he might as well get a job if he was not going to school.

Lars had no idea what to do until one day he was sitting in 'The Big Donut' and a man came in, drunk and harassing Sadie. He wanted discounts and things Lars did not even want to think of his semi friend giving the man. At first the boy was determined to just eat his donut and ignore all else but when the aggressor pulled out a hundred and held it up high telling Sadie to jump for her tip or she would get nothing, he had enough. Lars was on his feet in seconds and had the money in his grip before the drunkard probably even realized there was another customer in the shop.

"Wut da-?" The grizzly man slurred, turning to the teenager who was very nearly his height.

Lars wasted no time. His words were short, concise. "Get out."

"Hyey ked dis ain't nun of yur buzness." The man's breath reeked up close but Lars was not about to back down. He was no coward.

Lars gave the man a firm poke to the chest to drive his point home. "Actually, it is my business. This shop is my business and if you can't act right then you answer to me. Now GET OUT if you don't want to find out my favorite uses for baker girl's egg beater here."

The man looked horrified at the prospect and turned tail, disappearing faster than Lars ever thought him capable of. He did not even think about the hundy the teen still hand clenched in his fist. Lars turned to Sadie who did not look quite as ruffled as he might expect and handed over the crumpled bill. "Here ya go, you deserve it for putting up with his donkey breath."

Sadie gave him that same warm smile from the day when they first met at the board walk and said, "I've got to pay you somehow. You keep saving me and I didn't even know I needed saving." The redhead noticed the collar of her shirt was stretched from when the man grabbed it while Lars was still trying to ignore the situation. He had never done anything like that before but now that he had, he could not figure out why he had not done it sooner.

Lars scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Actually, I could kind of use a job." He explained. "I'm not sixteen yet but I will be soon and most places won't hire me so..." Most places required drug tests that he knew he could not pass.

Sadie averted her eyes looking guilty. "You know I can't give you a real job Lars. I can't afford it. I'm barely keeping this place open as it is. I'm sorry."

Lars thought about it for a moment before brightening as an idea struck him. "Well the job thing is mostly to make my parents get off my back but how bout this? You pay me when you can and I get to eat as many donuts as I want."

"Excuse me? Did you just ask me to pay you in donuts?" Her aqua eyes blinked, dumbfounded at the teenager.

Lars nodded with his arms crossed knowing how awesome this deal could be. Free donuts, an excuse to get out of the house, and a chance to shut his folk's mouths at least for a little while. It was perfect.

Starie or Savers. Weird pairing names that aren't really pairings...

Sadie was bustling around the shop all in a tizzy. It was pretty funny to watch her hobble around and climb on her trusty chair quickly to get things in her hurry. Lars had not been officially working for her for long but he had never seen her so worried. "I still don't see what the big deal is short stuff." The red head grumbled as he watched his boss race back and forth straightening things that did not really need to be straightened and wiping down every surface possible.

Her thick blonde curls bounced in rage as she turned sharply to regard the younger man. "You wouldn't. Look, Lars, this is important to me. My great uncle, remember him? The one that helped me get this place to set up. Well he is bringing the owners over along with his son to see the place. So please don't- you know what, just don't say anything while they're here. Okay?"

Lars chuckled. "Don't say anything? What do you think I would say? Oh yeah, she chops up the seagulls that keep tearing up our trash and puts them in the donuts. Wait, was that a trade secret?" He asked cheekily turning his earring in his ear.

Sadie shoved his belly in frustration. "I'm serious Lars! You aren't too great with the customers so just- keep your mouth shut okay? Especially with the kid." Her sea hued eyes looked off in worry and Lars frowned, wondering why she would be so worried about him meeting her family.

The door opened to expose a round man, much taller than Sadie with a wicked sunburn spread over his body. "Okay guys, this is it." He said cheerfully as he pushed inside and immediately leaned over the counter to talk to the baker who had finally calmed down for the most part.

The teenager's brows furrowed, he could have sworn he knew that guy but he could not put a name to that bluff face. "Aw how cool!" A boy exclaimed as he rushed into the shop excitedly. It could not be. Lars' lips parted in astonishment but no sound came out as the curly haired child rushed to his side to peer past him at the wide array of donuts in the case. "Look at em all! They look so good, can we get some? Oh please, please!"

"Of course Steven," Lars' wide deep green eyes turned on the woman who spoke and he suddenly felt even more frozen to his core. The crystal gems were in the store. They seemed to shine, even in the flourescent lighting that could make anything look unappealing. One, a full bodied woman, had a purple cast to her skin that looked dewy if nothing else. The next one was a monster of a chick, standing much taller than Lars himself, looking unimpressed by everything in the shop while still seeming interested. The third chick was a slender thing with merely a dull glow to her skin comparison to the other two's glossy appearance. She was the one who had spoken to the boy with a small smile gracing her lips and all eyes for the child.

The lavender hued woman seemed almost as enthused about the store as Steven was. She was picking up merchandise left and right for scrutiny. "Wow. Who would've thought the old shack could turn out like this." She said through lips pursed in interest.

"S'cuse me sir. Can you get me a donut?" Steven asked staring up at Lars with those friendly brown eyes. "Hey it's you!" The round boy practically bounced with recognition.

The slim, pale girl who came in with the group put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Now Steven, what have we told you about speaking to strangers?" It did not sound much like a question to Lars' ears.

"Oh! He's not a stranger. We've met before." Steven exclaimed with a big smile spread across his face.

"How is that possible?" The pale girl said curiously.

"So will you get me a donut this time?" The kid asked.

Lars nodded, still gawking at the supposedly magical customers. Sadie groaned from behind the counter. "Lars, please use words when customers talk to you."

"Uh huh," He managed to grunt.

Steven laughed. "You're a weird dude. I want that one." A chubby finger pointed to a chocolate glazed pastry with red sprinkles.

"Uh huh." Lars did as he was told and handed the boy his donut this time.

"Humans are so strange." The woman with Steven observed.

The boy just grinned at her. "Not really. It's just him." He assured the pearly girl. All Lars could do was stare while the kid munched on his treat."Mmmmm! It's so good. Pearl, you wanna try it?" He offered her the half eaten donut.

Pearl frowned. "I'm sure I can have one of my own. Excuse me, do you work here?" She asked Lars.

"Uh huh." He responded like an idiot but the girl just smiled and requested a plain glazed donut. Here ya go. The words never actually came out as he served up the fried food. The others ordered some too. The purple chick demanded one with chocolate while the tall woman with the glossy chestnut skin and menacing sunglasses curtly ordered a donut. Lars just picked a random one to hand over to her which she accepted with a nod. They did not stay much longer but the man, Sadie's uncle, got two more with sprinkles before they left and gave one to Steven who excitedly waved goodbye as they departed.

As soon as they were alone Sadie turned on the teenager. "What was that?" She inquired in exasperation. "When I told you not to talk, I didn't mean be rude to them!"

Lars flopped his arms around with erratic panic. "You- you're uncle- Are there any other dark family secrets I need to know about you?" If the guy who had sex with a Crystal Gem was her uncle then that meant the legendary gems themselves owned this place. What if they really did use magic like everyone said?

Sadie rolled her eyes. "He's like my mom's second cousin or something, the black sheep of the family. But when you suggested I sell my donuts, I figured he might have some ideas so I went out looking for him. Turns out I was the first family member to acknowledge him for years so he was thrilled to help out. Said if I let Steven hang around and was nice to him, then the Crystal Gems would let me squat here as long as I wanted. That's actually the first time I met them. But- how do you know Steven? Greg says he's been in the Gem's care for years."

"I- he wanted donuts..." Lars answered dumbly. Meeting the Crystal Gems was a lot to process all at once. "Any other dirt you're keeping from me, tell me now so next time, I know."

Sadie seemed to think about it for a moment before giving the younger boy a sly grin. "Dirt eh? Oh! Yeah, there is something else actually. The garbage can in the bakery is full. Can you go take it out Donut Boy?"

Lars shrugged without thought, "Yeah okay. Wait, Donut BOY? If anything, I'm definitely the Donut Man." He claimed, towering over the tiny woman.

Sadie frowned with a small blush. "Well I was kind of hoping my boyfriend would be the Donut Man."

Lars straightened in shock. "YOU have a BOYFRIEND?" He gaped at the tiny round girl.

Sadie pouted, really looking the part of spoiled little girl. "No, but once I do, he's definitely the Donut Man. What's wrong with me having a boyfriend anyhow? It could happen."

Lars averted his eyes from the young woman pointedly not thinking about her round figure or frizzy hair or round face. "Nothin. I just never seen him around. Didn't really think about you having a boyfriend before. You're more like the Donut Lady than Mrs. Donut. But I am definitely no Donut Boy. Until you find some chump to boss around I get to be the Donut Man. Just don't get any weird ideas in your head, okay?" His deep green eyes drifted back to the baker as he waited for an answer.

Sadie seemed to consider his reply for a moment critically. "Me have the weird ideas? Oh no, that is all on you Donut Man. Now go take out the trash like a good little chump." She finished with a smirk and he groaned but begrudgingly obeyed. As he left he could hear her whisper to herself under her breath. "Until I find a chump. I already have a chumpy Donut Boy." Lars just chose to ignore the murmur. Verbal abuse was just how things went between the two of them here. He just never thought he would ever hear her refer to him as her Donut Boy. Lars was in highschool, he was a man, not a boy.


End file.
